I’m just gonna describe this thing beat for beat, because that’s the only way to really come at this thing. If you wanna see this absurdity for yourself before reading, just go watch the damn thing.
A ghost ship is sinking cargo ships around the globe.
A little boy and his dad save the industrialist owner of said ships and his wife from a nasty car accident.
A skeleton ghost appears at a haunted house. He commands the ghost ship and claims to be out for revenge.
A giant robot attacks the city! The military mobilizes. The little boy’s parents are killed in the attack!
The boy is taken in by the industrialist, then discovers that there’s a secret base hidden under the guy’s house.
Turns out the robot attack was a false flag created by the industrialist, the military, and other assorted corporate and media types.
A computer determines the Secretary of Defense is a failure and has him executed by being dumped into the ocean with a giant manta ray lurking about.
The boy tries to tell the police and anyone else who’ll listen to him about what he saw. No one believes him.
People are disappearing all across the country! Turns out they’re melting because they drink too much blue soda.
Turns out the soda is imported into the country from the underwater civilization that’s behind everything.
Said underwater civilization sends giant crabs and shrimp to the surface. A crab melts the industrialist.
The crab almost melts the little boy and his dog. They’re saved by the ghost ship.
The ghost ship isn’t a ghost ship. It’s a super vehicle thing with a nuclear engine, missiles, lasers, and anti-gravity tech.
The captain is also the little boy’s actual father.
The ship gets shot out of the sky and falls into the ocean.
The young girl/nurse who helps the boy recover from nearly getting melted because of his blue soda addiction convinces the boy to go on a suicide mission to destroy the underwater civilization.
They go through an underwater ship graveyard and a mine field, have a submarine-like hide and seek match with underwater drones, then fight a robot octopus and kill it with a magnet laser that causes it to commit suicide.
The captain/dad wakes up to remind the kids that there’s an escape pod, so they don’t have to kill themselves to blow up the underwater civilization.
They escape. The underwater civilization is actually a kaiju clam. The clam dies.
They all live happily ever after, as the boy, girl, and dog chill out on a sailboat they’re way too young to be operating by themselves. But all of their parents are either dead or invalid skeleton ghost captains, so who’s there to tell them no?
This all happens in just under an hour.
This is some of the wildest, goofiest, pulpiest, coolest stuff animated, and the only thing bad about it is that it ends and doesn’t continue to escalate. Hell, they even say there’s probably someone controlling the underwater kaiju clam civilization. They know there’s more coming, so I guess it’s OK if they chill out for a minute on an unsupervised sail boat.
Anyway, the next time you buy one of those unnaturally-colored Mountain Dew sodas, you might get addicted to it and melt into carbonated bubbles because you’re really just drinking evil crab juice. Lay off of those Baja Blasts at Taco Bell, if you’re so inclined. It might just save you and save the world.
SHIN MECHA GUIGNOL 